Message Title: Fighting to Win-1
Responsive Reading: James 1:19
Wherefore, my beloved
brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: James 1:19
We
all get into discussions that lead to arguments from time to time. One of the
main reason we get into these arguments is misunderstanding. The other is,
instead of listing to the other person we are only waiting for our turn to
talk. Therefore, we miss what the person is trying to communicate to us and
take offense. More importantly we miss the motive of what some one is saying
and take offense. I remember a married couple that was considering a divorce
came in to talk. I asked how their communication level was and they both said
it was great. They talk all the time email, text the works and yet they always
get into these huge arguments.
Then
husband went on to tell me he thought that she just didn’t love him anymore. I
asked why and he told this story.
“My
wife shut the door on my hand and I screamed and she just walked away.”
When
I asked her for her side of the story she said,
“I
didn’t know his hand was caught. I just heard him scream at me and I don’t like
being yelled at so, I walked away.”
She
never took the time to hear what he was screaming about only heard the tone
that she didn’t approve of. If she would have stopped and heard the reason she
would have helped.
Now
he’s more hurt that she left him in that state than his hand actually being
hurt.
Swift to Hear, actually
means quick to understand.
In
other words, understand what they are trying to say before getting offended by
how they are saying. See our couple in this story thought they were
communicating well, but they were only talking a lot to each other but not
understanding one another.
Slow to speak. When you
are having these type of conversations we get confused at times thinking, I
need to respond, “Right Now!” or “They need to respond right now!” When that is
not always the case. Stop, repeat back what you think you understand, maybe ask
a clarifying question. And, if need be ask for some time before giving them the
answer. This may not be the answer they were looking for but it is where the
second part of this scripture comes in.
Slow to Wrath.
When
we continue in conversation we don’t fully understand we run the risk of an
argument. (Miscommunication)
Answering
or saying yes to something to fast can cause us to do something we never really
wanted to do therefore leading to strife.
But
if we take our time to understand the whole conversation, take our time in
answering so, that both parties are heard. Then we experience the Slow to Wrath part of this scripture.
Offense will come so, be prepared. James 1:19 will help.
Music Worship Leaders:
JW & Sharon Peck
Songs:
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